Some of these things are NY centric. Some are the result of the defects in my character - which, somehow, the Big Apple really brought out.
1. Feeling like I'm not getting anywhere
On the subway. In the middle of the night. At the office. It could strike anywhere. For me, it happened most often while working my way through the throngs of Times Square. Ugh.
2. Being jealous
I'll admit it. Sometimes I was too self-centered to understand the choices certain theatres made. I'd go to a show and find myself hating it and then would come the ugly thought: "Why the hell did they do this show? I've written a better play than this and they rejected it." This did not forbode well for the conversation about the play with friends later.
3. Being too busy and tired to see friends shows
A crime again fellow playwrights, generous actors, faithful directors and risky producers. But the exhaustion of the daily grind in the city could be mighty and I was but one person.
4. Being too poor to see a show I wanted to see
I paid through the nose to see some shows. Which meant there were many others I didn't see. Then the blood stopped coming out of my nose.
5. Being told by people I knew that they were too busy to see my show
For some reason I wanted forgiveness when I missed their shows, why, oh, why couldn't I extend it to them when they missed mine.
6. Wondering if anyone would show up
Um, what's the deal in New York? There's millions of people there, but you still have to struggle to fill the 99 seat theatre. That's not right.
7. The cost of theatre production
I was told once that a 3 person show with no real set - on a 8 week Equity thing - would set me back about $28,000. Something is deeply, tragically wrong.
8. Finding rehearsal space
Do you know where I can find some? Please email me directly!
9. People who thought they could make a living in theatre
There are probably fewer than 50 writers who make money doing only theatre. Nationwide. Please stop feeling bitter about living in NY and not being one of them. Please.
You gotta do them. And you have to be grateful for them. And you know that they're probably never gonna get you anywhere.
11. Feeling like I'm not cool enough
Well, this one I truly have no matter where I go. But then New York prides itself on this kind of thing. Still, I hate wearing black. I really do.