Friday, November 10, 2006
What have I done?
OKAY, you tell yourself not to look at the freekin' bank account, but you do.
You tell yourself, not to worry about the phone bill, but you can't have a conversation without a less than philosophical discussion in your head about the nature of time.
You promise yourself to be yourself when you meet other people, but somewhere in the middle of hello, you hear the silent cry, "Help me."
You go by houses on the block and do everything you can to look away from the brightly lit rooms you see behind the windows, but you just can't help yourself.
You step into your shoes every morning thinking, today I will not consider what I'd have if in my 401K if I'd stayed in New York and took full advantage of the matching plan, but the calculator in your head adds it up anyway.
You look in the mirror and plug your ears to the sound of the little man inside yourself that shouts, "You shoulda gone to LAW SCHOOL!" but you hear him anyway like a muffled voice through a shitty hotel wall.
Yeah, you do, you do, you do.
Cuz that's what you do when you do what you do, word boy.