The freelance gig in Denver looks like it's going to be a long gig. Maybe until the end of June. This is good for financial reasons right before we have the child whom I'm still calling "Baby Noodles", but also tough because we're apart.
Luckily, Heather's been able to come out and visit. This week she was here from Sunday through this morning. Which meant we enjoyed our 2nd wedding anniversary in Boulder (we ate the St Julien; I gave her a massage from the spa there; She gave me some new Yankees caps). We also went on the "peak to peak" drive from Nederland to Estes Park.
But maybe the most important thing to happen is that I got a full dose of baby kicks from the Noodles. He is growing stronger every day and it's quite something to feel him become more and more real as time passes.
It's also given me a whole new subject to dream about - taking care of someone else. Both anxiety causing and sort of wonderful at once, I find myself worrying in my sleep about him and wondering while I'm awake how I'm going to do it.
Other thoughts drift in too - why I'm not as produced as I'd like to be. How will I help my work find its way to the stage. Why I'm not better and faster at writing. Why I've been unsatisfied with my achievements so far.
These are all questions that come from the nature of who I am, of course, but also, in light of the coming change, seem more than self-concerned. They seem small.
It seems like a long time ago when I wrote this ominous thing.
And, of course, it was.
Back then, I hadn't worked in months. I didn't know where Heather and I were going to live. I'd only just finished DRESSING THE GIRL. BEYOND THE OWING was still a complete mess (now it's just a mess, maybe). I hadn't worked with Clubbed Thumb.
And, most importantly, I didn't know that I was going to be a father.